Unthinkable (I'm Ready) ~Alicia Keys

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Moment of honesty...
Someone's gotta take the lead tonight.
Whose it gonna be?
I'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me.
If you have something to say, you should say it right now (You should say it right now) You ready?
You give me a feeling that I never felt before...and I deserve it, I think I deserve it. (Let it go)
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore...and I can't take it.
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready.
I know you once said to me: "This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be." Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually? If we gon' do something 'bout it We should do it right now (We should do it right now)
You give me a feeling that I never felt before...and I deserve it, I know I deserve it.
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore.
(It's what we make it.)
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
Or would it be so beautiful? Either way I'm sayin; If you ask me, I'm ready, I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready.
Why give up before we try? Feel the lows before the highs...
Clip our wings before we fly away...
I can't say I came prepared... I'm suspended in the air... Won't you come be in the sky with me...?
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
Or would it be so beautiful? Either way I'm sayin; If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready. If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready...

~xo

Fear

I am so afraid.
Afraid I won't be enough.
Or good enough for you.
Maybe I'm not pretty enough.
Or smart enough.
Skinny enough.
Understanding enough.
I often wonder (and worry) what this or that means.
And I'm afraid my worst fears are right.
I'm afraid I won't show you I care enough...or in the right way.
I can't express to you how my deepest fears are exactly what hold me back from being what I want and need to be (in this situation).
I'm so afraid to put myself out there and go all in--because I'm afraid you will show me the side of you that I'd always hoped wasn't (but I feared was) there.
And how can I be assured that my feelings aren't unwarranted?
This could be an unfair balance...I could be tipping the scales in my direction with no basis for doing so.
I try to pull back and inhibit the way I feel.
But my fears keep me in a constant succession of struggling...all in an attempt to prove my worth to you; all the while maintaining in my mind that it doesn't matter to me how you feel, because it's not important anyway.
But I know that is nowhere near true.
I want so much for you to realize what I am already feeling.
But I'm so afraid you won't feel it too.

~xo

Not the end of the world....but it hurt so bad

While the rest of the world moved busily about, I sat and watched.
My mind raced as quickly as everyone around me, but my body sat perfectly still.
Tears flowed like a river; it felt like they were creating a tidal wave. Everyone got swept up and washed away in it; except me.
Eyes cloudy, vision blurry--from the tears that wouldn't stop flowing.
The pain, hurt, and anguish was almost, if not completely, unbearable.
I thought of all that I'd been through and thought, I must be able to make it.
The pain I feel now is nothing.
Thoughts of my past and struggles I'd overcome before can now only serve as further motivation.
I will not be broken.
But I was in a fog. Unable to clear it, even with tears. Everything else was washed away but that pain.
It could only be heightened and otherwise magnified as tears dropped from big, brown eyes, to flushed and rosy cheeks, to trembling chin.

~xo

So, like.....yeah.

Sometimes I just get tired. I want answers. And I want them now.

"...Got no patience, and I hate waitin..." --Like Hov.

When I ask a question, why is it that there always has to be a delay before I can get my answer? But you want what you want, when you want it, and God forbid you don't get it.
Pssshhh....I don't want to know.

But I do want to know what's next? Where does this ride take us?

I'm just trying to "know my role", and "play my position", and as my homie pointed out, "stay in my lane". LOL...he didn't even know what he was commenting on, but it fits.

Can I be honest?

I want to be with you.

See, I know you don't think we're ready, but I'm ready & willing to try. I guess I feel that there's no time like the present.

I just need you to understand that I'm not perfect and that we both have things we need to work on in order to make things work; this is true even if we are to maintain our current situation...
We are all works in progress, so it's not fair to either one of us to expect perfection in any way from one another.

I'm not trying to make waves. I want things to continue on a positive path. I'm aware that there will be some bumps along the way, but are you? Are you ready to turn and run at the first sign of trouble?

I'm just afraid of what will happen going forward...is it going to be easier or harder.....?

~xo

When Rain Falls....

Watching the flame dance in a glowing candle holder; reminiscing of a far away lover...
Contemplating past decisions and wondering whether to call them regrets or successes...

Peering out of the window only reminds her of her fears.
All that she is afraid of is on the other side of that glass...

She watches as the rain floods the street, imagining that she, her life--is swept up in the water as well.
She is swept up in the swelling oasis and washed away.

She imagines being able to start over.

The floods have washed away that old girl, and she emerges as a new woman.

~xo

Quote of the day.........

"Hip Hop need some female rappers with some lyrical substance not lyrical barbie bullshit..."

( In reference to the next "hot" thing Nicki Minaj by my homegirl...btw check out her blog @ http://beautifulfashionsmoothie.blogspot.com/ )

I COMPLETELY co-sign this, just for the record....Damn, what happend to Lauryn Hill, MC Lyte, and Queen Latifah???? Oh yeah....I forgot, they weren't "sexy" enough..........thoughts?

~xo

Endless Love

It's like a quintessential dream when we're together; laughing and touching.

I love the way you protect me from the world and keep me safe from life.

You're my warmth and comfort throughout the long days and your arms compel me to yearn for longer nights.

When I wake at night and feel the softness of your lips against mine unexpectedly--it makes my heart flutter.

I often wonder if this thing is what it seems, or if our minds are protecting us from ourselves.

You make me crazy! (¡Usted me hace loca!)
...and I can't understand what it is.

Sometimes I just want to run and scream and hide and cry.
My mind is going a million miles a second.

But what I think about you...
Something different.

You can't be the one for me, because you're not perfect.
You're unexpected.
Unreal and unrealistic.

At the same time, what if you are exactly what I need and I am what you were put on this earth to find?

Maybe we compliment each other in ways that neither of us will ever understand.

Or maybe our understanding is already so intense that our souls are already linked and destined to be together!

Because when I think of you, I automatically smile and feel warm.

And just when I thought it was finally over--you come back and love me, again.

~xo