You made a decision to bring a life into this world, and because of that, the dynamics of your relationship will ALWAYS change. Women will ALWAYS be resentful of the fact that men have the option to do as they please, and women are expected to just be MOTHERS. And by "just a mother" I mean, please reference the included photo.
So when a man decides his "shift" is over, it's a slap in the face to the woman, thus causing issues ELSEWHERE in the relationship. Combine this with the OTHER stresses of a relationship, PLUS the two of you raising a child. This COULD BE a recipe for disaster. But, if a couple TAKES THE TIME to TRULY listen to their partner, take what they're saying into account, be responsible for their own actions, and REALLY think about what made them fall in love, and make the decision to START A FAMILY, this whole process would be MUCH EASIER on EVERYONE.
But couple rarely do this. They get angry, argue, say things they don't mean, and don't put effort into maintaining the balance & harmony of their relationship.
People often say that just because two people had a child together, doesn't mean they belong together as a couple. Well shouldn't that decision be made FIRST? A CHILD is a PERMANENT decision to make based upon TEMPORARY feelings. And the child doesn't deserve a BROKEN family because the parents ALL OF A SUDDEN can't get along.
I would NEVER say I regret my child, or even his father, because it was a decision that I chose to make. Nor will I EVER, EVER speak NEGATIVELY about my child's father to him. It doesn't help anything, and our relationship should not reflect on our son.
But the fact that we can no longer get along because of the circumstances of LIFE? THAT is what I regret. Because no matter how cordial or polite we are to one another, our child will ALWAYS be reminded that our love was not strong enough to make us remain a family.
At least that was MY view for a VERY LONG as a child, and I felt that it was BECAUSE OF ME that my parents weren't together. That's a HEAVY load for a CHILD to bear.
And even when I spoke to my mother about it, telling her my thoughts, nothing she said could make me feel otherwise.
It wasn't until I got much older that I recognized that it was because of my father's indiscretions that we weren't a family, but it took a LONG time to realize that.
I just hope that those who make the decision to have a child together, remember that the child ultimately is a reflection of THE TWO OF YOU, and a LIFELONG commitment. Contrary to popular belief, a child is NOT an 18 year contract. So, if you don't think you can be with the other person for LIFE, you probably SHOULDN'T have a child with them.
~xo
