Just a quick shout out to djLtwo (follow him on twitter)!!
One of my poems has been featured on a new portion of the site [ http://njcommission.blogspot.com/2010/02/missericakane-poem.html ] ...they will be featuring writers and models weekly.
*If you fit the criteria of either of the above, hit up twitter.com/djLtwo (and tell him I sent you!!)
~xo
About Me
- MissEricaKane
- I'm just a young-at-heart, 30ish chick who lives for my family, friends, and the weekends!!! Writing is my passion....and music speaks to my soul.....
2.26.2010
2.25.2010
Untitled
I lay next to him, eyes closed and comforted by his embrace.
He softly traces the outline of my body.
Starting first with my face.....
From eyes, to nose, to lips-continuing from neck to shoulders, to arms, to breasts; then back, to belly.
Such a tender, sweet caress from such a tough exterior.
And I wonder what it is.
So much passion and intensity fills us both.
Whether in anger or the physical flip side when the anger has subdued.....
But right now there is no hostility.
Only a gentle hand and a willing body are present here.
The way he touches me....
I am convinced the persona he portrays conflicts with what he actually embodies.
The man laying here holds my body close.
I wonder what he's thinking.......
~xo
He softly traces the outline of my body.
Starting first with my face.....
From eyes, to nose, to lips-continuing from neck to shoulders, to arms, to breasts; then back, to belly.
Such a tender, sweet caress from such a tough exterior.
And I wonder what it is.
So much passion and intensity fills us both.
Whether in anger or the physical flip side when the anger has subdued.....
But right now there is no hostility.
Only a gentle hand and a willing body are present here.
The way he touches me....
I am convinced the persona he portrays conflicts with what he actually embodies.
The man laying here holds my body close.
I wonder what he's thinking.......
~xo
2.16.2010
Random thoughts for 2010
I'm not one of those people who has to reflect on the past year because we're in the first days of a new year.
I also didn't make a resolution on January 1st I knew I wouldn't be able to stick to.
In all honesty, I've already been changing some small things in my own ways over the last couple of months.
I've already begun to realize that in order for me to be happy, I have to change certain things about the way I view things and the way I treat/react to others.
My anger has always been an issue for me, but I've realized as of late that it is essential for me to take time to stop, breathe, and think, before I react to any situation. It is the only way to ensure that I likely won't do or say something that I might regret in the heat of the moment.
I admit, in no way have I done a complete 180 in this aspect, either. There have already been many times in which I thought I was handling a situation better than I have in the past, which still turned out to have escalated because of my anger. This is a daily struggle with me, and I thank God daily for those whose who are by my side and coping along with me.
I've also been trying not to judge others. This is not as easy as it seems. There are many times when considering the choices, lifestyles, situations, etc. of others, that it is easier to say what the person in the situation SHOULD be doing. It comes naturally to most of us. However, we rarely see ourselves make the decisions we so easily bestow upon others when we are faced with similar challenges.
I've also been trying to read & write more (again). I've always felt a connection to words....whether through music, books, or my own musings. TV these days is focused so much on "reality"; and the "dumbing down" of America....I'm surely a victim.
My posts here are trying to serve as not only somewhat of an "online diary" but as a vehicle for me continue to grow mentally. If nothing else, I hope to document my life as it plays out, for as long as I continue to keep this up. It shall serve as an ongoing reflection of my life, and I hope it shows me my true self (as I've noticed it already does).
I hope that those of you reading this blog enjoy my randomness LOL and help to inspire me to continue on my journey......
~xo
I also didn't make a resolution on January 1st I knew I wouldn't be able to stick to.
In all honesty, I've already been changing some small things in my own ways over the last couple of months.
I've already begun to realize that in order for me to be happy, I have to change certain things about the way I view things and the way I treat/react to others.
My anger has always been an issue for me, but I've realized as of late that it is essential for me to take time to stop, breathe, and think, before I react to any situation. It is the only way to ensure that I likely won't do or say something that I might regret in the heat of the moment.
I admit, in no way have I done a complete 180 in this aspect, either. There have already been many times in which I thought I was handling a situation better than I have in the past, which still turned out to have escalated because of my anger. This is a daily struggle with me, and I thank God daily for those whose who are by my side and coping along with me.
I've also been trying not to judge others. This is not as easy as it seems. There are many times when considering the choices, lifestyles, situations, etc. of others, that it is easier to say what the person in the situation SHOULD be doing. It comes naturally to most of us. However, we rarely see ourselves make the decisions we so easily bestow upon others when we are faced with similar challenges.
I've also been trying to read & write more (again). I've always felt a connection to words....whether through music, books, or my own musings. TV these days is focused so much on "reality"; and the "dumbing down" of America....I'm surely a victim.
My posts here are trying to serve as not only somewhat of an "online diary" but as a vehicle for me continue to grow mentally. If nothing else, I hope to document my life as it plays out, for as long as I continue to keep this up. It shall serve as an ongoing reflection of my life, and I hope it shows me my true self (as I've noticed it already does).
I hope that those of you reading this blog enjoy my randomness LOL and help to inspire me to continue on my journey......
~xo
2.11.2010
Unfinished (February 5, 2010)
I feel like I'm losing you.
Like you're slowly slipping away.
Or maybe you're unintentionally being pushed.
Maybe what is happening inside my head and my heart are colliding with reality.
And somehow, what we were beginning to create is already slowly fading away.
And I don't know why that scares me so much...
I wish you understood
~xo
Like you're slowly slipping away.
Or maybe you're unintentionally being pushed.
Maybe what is happening inside my head and my heart are colliding with reality.
And somehow, what we were beginning to create is already slowly fading away.
And I don't know why that scares me so much...
I wish you understood
~xo
2.01.2010
At A Loss......
I constantly seem to be thinking...
The wheels are ALWAYS in motion.
And I don't know if it's so much "thinking" as it is worrying.
It's hard when all you want to do is be happy, and part of your dreams are that those around you are happy as well.
And sometimes you feel as if their happiness rests on your shoulders.
I try so hard....and I wonder why.
I realize I'm often in a parallel between trying to be myself and what others want me to be. I have yet to find out if they are one in the same.
If I were to take the advice of others, I would be selfish and do only what makes me happy.
But how do I make ME happy, and satifsy the wants and needs of those closest to me; when their happiness is essentially what completes me???
It is an endless cycle...one in which I battle with myself daily.
Usually the external me wins.
The internal me continues to strive for a different outcome, forcing the fighter inside of me to be defeated once again.
I can't explain it.
But one day I will make sense of it all.
Or maybe I won't.
I can only hope to obtain a better understanding of myself, and in turn hope that those around me will continue to love and accept me for the woman I have become, instead of the girl I once was.
~xo
The wheels are ALWAYS in motion.
And I don't know if it's so much "thinking" as it is worrying.
It's hard when all you want to do is be happy, and part of your dreams are that those around you are happy as well.
And sometimes you feel as if their happiness rests on your shoulders.
I try so hard....and I wonder why.
I realize I'm often in a parallel between trying to be myself and what others want me to be. I have yet to find out if they are one in the same.
If I were to take the advice of others, I would be selfish and do only what makes me happy.
But how do I make ME happy, and satifsy the wants and needs of those closest to me; when their happiness is essentially what completes me???
It is an endless cycle...one in which I battle with myself daily.
Usually the external me wins.
The internal me continues to strive for a different outcome, forcing the fighter inside of me to be defeated once again.
I can't explain it.
But one day I will make sense of it all.
Or maybe I won't.
I can only hope to obtain a better understanding of myself, and in turn hope that those around me will continue to love and accept me for the woman I have become, instead of the girl I once was.
~xo
1.14.2010
Unthinkable (I'm Ready) ~Alicia Keys
Moment of honesty...
Someone's gotta take the lead tonight.
Whose it gonna be?
I'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me.
If you have something to say, you should say it right now (You should say it right now) You ready?
You give me a feeling that I never felt before...and I deserve it, I think I deserve it. (Let it go)
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore...and I can't take it.
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready.
I know you once said to me: "This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be." Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually? If we gon' do something 'bout it We should do it right now (We should do it right now)
You give me a feeling that I never felt before...and I deserve it, I know I deserve it.
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore.
(It's what we make it.)
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
Or would it be so beautiful? Either way I'm sayin; If you ask me, I'm ready, I'm ready. If you ask me I'm ready.
Why give up before we try? Feel the lows before the highs...
Clip our wings before we fly away...
I can't say I came prepared... I'm suspended in the air... Won't you come be in the sky with me...?
I was wondering maybe, could I make you my baby? If we do the unthinkable, would it make us look crazy?
Or would it be so beautiful? Either way I'm sayin; If you ask me I'm ready, I'm ready. If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready...
If you ask me, I'm ready...
~xo
1.05.2010
Fear
I am so afraid.
Afraid I won't be enough.
Or good enough for you.
Maybe I'm not pretty enough.
Or smart enough.
Skinny enough.
Understanding enough.
I often wonder (and worry) what this or that means.
And I'm afraid my worst fears are right.
I'm afraid I won't show you I care enough...or in the right way.
I can't express to you how my deepest fears are exactly what hold me back from being what I want and need to be (in this situation).
I'm so afraid to put myself out there and go all in--because I'm afraid you will show me the side of you that I'd always hoped wasn't (but I feared was) there.
And how can I be assured that my feelings aren't unwarranted?
This could be an unfair balance...I could be tipping the scales in my direction with no basis for doing so.
I try to pull back and inhibit the way I feel.
But my fears keep me in a constant succession of struggling...all in an attempt to prove my worth to you; all the while maintaining in my mind that it doesn't matter to me how you feel, because it's not important anyway.
But I know that is nowhere near true.
I want so much for you to realize what I am already feeling.
But I'm so afraid you won't feel it too.
~xo
Afraid I won't be enough.
Or good enough for you.
Maybe I'm not pretty enough.
Or smart enough.
Skinny enough.
Understanding enough.
I often wonder (and worry) what this or that means.
And I'm afraid my worst fears are right.
I'm afraid I won't show you I care enough...or in the right way.
I can't express to you how my deepest fears are exactly what hold me back from being what I want and need to be (in this situation).
I'm so afraid to put myself out there and go all in--because I'm afraid you will show me the side of you that I'd always hoped wasn't (but I feared was) there.
And how can I be assured that my feelings aren't unwarranted?
This could be an unfair balance...I could be tipping the scales in my direction with no basis for doing so.
I try to pull back and inhibit the way I feel.
But my fears keep me in a constant succession of struggling...all in an attempt to prove my worth to you; all the while maintaining in my mind that it doesn't matter to me how you feel, because it's not important anyway.
But I know that is nowhere near true.
I want so much for you to realize what I am already feeling.
But I'm so afraid you won't feel it too.
~xo
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