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I'm just a young-at-heart, 30ish chick who lives for my family, friends, and the weekends!!! Writing is my passion....and music speaks to my soul.....

3.26.2011

Frenzied Thoughts (originally written June 2011)

If everything happens for a reason, can somebody please explain this?
I know what I want (or at least I thought I did) and this is NOT it.
I've gone through my life making choices and choosing paths set for me by others; living to please parents, teachers, friends, society....
But when I began to live for myself and do what is right for me, everything around me shattered.
The cracked glass is now in millions of pieces and each step I try to take will only make a bigger mess.
There is no way out.
I talk to myself and try to convince myself that I can do it--I can clean it up--but my mind is racing almost as quickly as my heart.
The two of them seem to be in competition to see which one can kill me first.
My thoughts are on overdrive, but scrambled and difficult to understand, like a digital cable channel.
My heart is re-introducing itself to my lungs, who are now realizing that they must wake up and join the race too (at least try to keep up!)
And now, as they all begin to set a steady pace, I am left to reconsider my direction.

~xo

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